The Christmas season and impending end of yet another year inevitably spur us to reflect on our achievements, disappointments, hopes, and general disposition toward the coming year. This year is certainly no different, and given the difficult economic environment many of us find ourselves in, reflection is probably happening at a higher-than-average rate this season. That’s certainly true for me.
The past year has in many ways been one of the most discouraging and disheartening of my life. I’ll spare you the details–many of you already know most of them anyway. Suffice to say that the combination of the impossible job market, and some very bad decisions and behavior on the part of more than one member of my immediate family has pretty much knocked us out of the running for Most Idyllic Hallmark Family. But this posting isn’t a rant about the heartbreak of family betrayal, this posting is about how friendship saved my life. Here’s where you come in.
Although I have always counted myself fortunate to be surrounded by a large and diverse group of friends, my appreciation for just how blessed I am in that regard has been demonstrated to me repeatedly and profoundly this year. I’m exaggerating only slightly when I give my friends credit for keeping me upright and breathing–and yes, even optimistic–through 2009. So, here’s my Christmas shout-out. I’m sure many of you, whether you’re in my circle of friends or not, will see yourself. If you do, know that your kind act of friendship was life-altering for someone. Know that you were a blessing for someone who desperately needed just that. So, forgive me if I write just a bit more personally than usual. Though my gratitude is specifically targeted, the message it carries about friendship is universal.
To my tennis team and the Tuesday night tennis crowd: I’ve never been much of a “team” player. I never played team sports in high school or college, and frankly thought the whole concept was a little silly. I don’t think that anymore. The sense of belonging and support that comes from working toward a common goal is powerful. It’s therapeutic to be able to lose yourself in it if you need to–and so much more constructive than many of the alternatives. And, let’s not lose sight of the fact that you all are just a whole lot of fun to be with. Wine on Tuesday nights doesn’t hurt, either.
To my church friends: You win the prize for grace-under-awkward-conditions! Where you could show impatience, you have shown forbearance. Though I have created some distance, you continue to be warm, welcoming and understanding. I have always been a fiercely independent person. To be vulnerable or needy has always equated to weakness and failure in my book. If I had to have my invulnerability stripped away–I’m glad it was in your company and addressed with your integrity.
To the rest of you who defy categorization or description: Thank you for checking in with me under the guise of thousands of excuses. Thank you for your courage to ask, and the patience to listen. Thank you for the myriad social events in which you’ve included me. Thank you for continuing normalcy, when there was no normalcy.
Though this Christmas is in some ways melancholy, I’m profoundly grateful for the thousand acts of kindness, craziness, and closeness my friends have bestowed on me. I’m closing out a chapter of my life and facing the blank page of the next. I’m so glad you will all be there to help me write it. It’s going to be good.